Welcome on a journey! I call it the Path of a Composer. The idea is to post key pieces of my music from along the years and hopefully put some light on how I have developed aesthetically, in my craftsmanship and of course also artistically — resulting in these days where I am finally ready to proudly launch myself as a composer of modern art music. It is time for Chapter II.
Waehnen: Kilpilaulu (demo from year 2002)
For alto, flute, clarinet, bassoon, viola and piano
“Who are we?” presented on the previous chapter was an example of my art rock which first of all was significant in guiding me to the fascinating idea of trying to become a composer of art music and later encouraging me to spread my wings. I cannot remember the whole thought process with all it´s phases but we do have a document of my first composition of Western art music and I am proud to share it with you on this blogpost.
Kilpilaulu was composed on the poem by the author Eeva Kilpi. I called her on the phone and asked for a permission which she gave me. The first idea was to compose three of these songs on her poems but I ended up composing only one. When I told Eeva I was to compose “Kuolema, ota minut käsivarsillesi” (Death, lift me in your arms), she said something like: “Oh, that is a very sad one”. Indeed. Nowadays “Kilpilaulu” is the name of the song because I have always referred to it by that name rather than with the longer title of the poem.
I had listened to a lot of classical and modern art music until then but never had I dared to try myself before this song. Yet, having studied in Musiikkiopisto (a Finnish music school system) ever since 1986, I of course knew how to read and write music. I had done a lot of exercises during my general musical studies. Also, I had tens and tens of poprock songs behind me already — and that has to count for something. So technical matters weren´t really an obstacle, I remember that. Now that I think of it, it truly must have been inevitable that I took up the task of the art music in the end.
I remember it was musically an immensely gorgeous and liberating experience to compose Kilpilaulu! It felt just great to create this kind of music of my own, to deal with something so essential. The feeling of being completely free was also so satisfying. That´s what art music still is for me, foremost: a medium where you don´t have to care about the limits of a genre. Now that I have a look at the song, it seems that the instrumentation and expression through it came to me very naturally. Listening to the demo, it feels as though I was at home with this kind of music from the start, despite certain technical aspects that I would do differently now that I have all the experience.
What were the starting points for the composition? Well there are many of them in fact. One of them was of course the extremely impactful poem before which there was none of the music. The second starting point is strongly linked to the first: I was going through a rather serious burnout while composing this song and it in fact resulted in me dropping out of Sibelius Academy and changing to Helsinki Yliopisto. It was the turning point in my life: until those years I had been an artistically oriented young fellow who subconsciously tried to please everyone and spread his focus all over, even musically. It was in those very same days that I decided to drop everything unnecessary from my life and focus on the essential. And I am still happily on that path! The powerful poem and composing it to music in fact helped me express the anxiety I was going through and as such get over my burnout. I emerged from that crisis much stronger, eventually really knowing who I am. So this song is a significant personal document to me — it still reminds me of paths not to take, it reminds me that I have to respect myself and live the kind of life that foremost suits me before anyone else. Only that way can I be of help and joy to others.
The 3rd starting point for Kilpilaulu must of course be musical. The influence of the expressive and intimate 4th Symphony by Sibelius is obvious. The flute high up against the slow note of the bassoon starts off the whole song. Very Sibelian gesture, right? Il Tempo Largo. Another influence is Tchaikovsky´s 6th Symphony, Symphonie Pathétique, in B minor. Yes, when I was going through the hard times the 4th by Sibelius and Tchaikovsky´s Pathétique were crucial. I remember thinking that there isn´t such a pain in the world that music could not express. As a kind of homage, the main melody sang by the soloist starts in augmented B minor — the key of the Pathétique. It couldn´t have been any other key.
When it comes to the technical aspects of composition, I decided to trust my heart, intuition, experience and ears. It seems that even on this first song I found something essential to myself: I like to slide seamlessly from tonality to modality to chromaticism to microtonality — expression showing the way and being the primary goal. The first three categories are present in this song, the 4th only as a kind of acoustic play where the piano doubles on the 5th of the bassoon (octave and a fifth higher, referring to a powerful overtone). Anyway, even to this day I refuse to limit my musical means in order to please some aesthetic school. I can be very tonal and traditional and very modern, new-searching and dissonant if I choose so. This has stayed the same throughout the years.
Also the strong aim at coherence is still present in my compositions and it is obvious in Kilpilaulu as well. There are a few musical motives which are developed along the way. That´s what I have always admired in Sibelius: organic growth of the music. I aimed at the same in this song. That results in that the music seems to make sense. Then again it is not something that I would have to meticulously work at — I think for me it is a basic quality of music to build on what has been before. That I am strongly Sibelian and Beethovenian is at the core of my musical being. The balance between cohesion, diversity, expression and strong contrasts is still at the core of my composing.
What about the aesthetics from the viewpoint of today? Well, if I were to compose the piece today, I would fix certain things, and a few places would be different. There is some naivety to be spotted, at least for me. Then again I value the genuine atmosphere of the piece — there is none of the technical showing off that is something composers need to consciously work against, me included. In the end if the music communicates, is genuine and makes an impact, that is all you can ask of a composition.
The demo was recorded at Sibelius Academy and performed by my fellow students. I did nothing but produced and guided the rehearsing and recording process. It was a studio live with some overdubs. I remember that for some of my fellows recording the piece was kind of hard because the poem and the music is so full of anxiety. We were young but all of a sudden there was something very serious indeed to be performed. Anyway, I think everyone did a great job! I have to mention especially Laura Miettinen, who also sang on Chapter I “Shistavich: Who are we?”, but in the style and aesthetics of popular music. It is interesting to hear how the aesthetics differ. I love her voice and performance in both works.
How to sum it all up? For me Kilpilaulu was crucial in that it allowed me to put into music my experience of the burnout which was the biggest crisis of my life until then and even today one of the 2 crises I have gone through. I realised that there is nothing that music could not express and I live in that conviction even today. Also, it really is my first piece of modern western art music. Despite the certain naivety or bare/primitive expression, I seem to have found my musical voice in art music straight away. Such experiences have a lasting effect even though my journey was to take many turns. The seed was planted so to speak although I was not ready to give up rock of which I had so many years of experience.
The Path of a Composer Chapter III will address how I continued to train composing art music yet by accident found progressive rock which combined art music and rock and through which I was able to express the musical duality within myself for many years whilst letting the art musician in me slowly grow.